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Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts

Sunday, 14 October 2018

Treasures

I've been lucky, in a way, to not have had much of a run in with death and losing loved ones. Yes I'd lost grandparents, teachers, and uncles and aunts, but no one whom I was particularly close with. (My English teacher was probably the closest, but I was out of school already when she passed away.)

But that changed this year. And fairly drastically. In January, the absolute best grandmother in the whole world passed away. Even though I wasn't as close to her as I had wanted to be, we'd had a connection that is difficult to explain. She was always there for me. If ever I needed advice or to talk, she'd be there. Even though I didn't make much use of it, just knowing that I could if I wanted to made a massive difference. And that's not even mentioning that she was the kindest most loving most forgiving and most accepting person I've ever known.

Her death changed my life quite a bit. For one, I got more into my gardening :) and I fully believe that it's her spirit that's making my garden bloom so incredibly. (Almost) more importantly, it had a drastic effect on my outlook on life. On where I was at, and how I was dealing with things. The previous year had been particularly rough for me and my reaction wasn't entirely healthy or sustainable. The change was difficult, but essential, and amazing. Her death was the push that turned me from a bud to a rose. So, thank you, Oumies.

That same transformation, as good as it was, was equally challenging. There were tough decisions, hard changes, a lot of psychological work. Apart from my awesome psychologist, I had the unending, non judgemental support of a great friend. Our friendship had been a bit of a roller-coaster ride, mainly because both our lives were a roller-coaster ride at the time. But our rhythms matched and we were perfectly suited to helping each other deal with the mountains and hills of our lives. In many ways we were mirrors to each other.

In the weeks before he died, though, our friendship reached a new level. Its difficult to explain, but it's like we hadn't realised before just how supportive we had been to each other. For two weeks I consciously had this pillar of support. He'd always be there to help or encourage or advise, or just listen. Always. As was I for him. So when he died... He was suddenly just not there. Yes, that's generally what happens when people die, but... like... it was so much more than a physical loss, or an emotional loss even. A little piece of who I had become was shattered. If soul mates were a thing, then this was it. And it was gone.

If my gran helped to transform me from a bud to a rose, Cuen helped to make me bloom into a stellar rose, to start standing tall (even though I'm actually really short), to shine my brilliant colour out to the world, whilst protecting myself from... The aphids of life? 😬



I strongly believe that my gran is in my garden, and similarly that Cuen is in every bird that sings. Always there, in the background. And when you pay attention, they're the absolute beauty of the world. The birthing, growing, blooming beauty, death and re-cycling of life. A constant reminder of death, and a perpetual reminder of beauty, love, kindness, giving and caring.

Sometimes I just stop to smell the flowers (I haven't been able to keep roses alive yet) and listen to the birds. And it makes the world of difference to my day.

It may not have the same meaning to you at all, but I'd still suggest that you give it a try every now and then. It can't do any harm, but perhaps it freshens your day, or cheers you up just a tiny bit.

And hopefully this is my last somber post on death 😬

blog mindfulness new beginnings pain spring stillness

Thursday, 11 October 2018

It's been a while

So, I haven't written for a while. It started out as a mild form of writers block, that then escalated to getting absolutely frustrated with not being able to properly convey my sentiments. In fact, the previous blog that was posted was written after this one. My frustrations led me to ask a good friend, who happened to be excellent at language and communication and bullshitting his way through meetings that had everyone believing that he was an expert in the field, to read through the rough draft and try to help me figure out what I wasn't portraying properly. He gave some excellent feedback. That was then followed by a large dose of procrastination on my part, as well as a move to a new studio space that took ages and so much effort and time.

Anyway, long story short, three days after I had moved to my new place and started getting settled, I got a message to say that my friend, the same excellent grammarian, had died in a motorbike accident.

From there, you can probably imagine why it's taken so long to get back into my blogging. Even now as I type I'm wondering if things are blurry because of my recently diagnosed astigmatism, or from the tears welling up, once again, even though it has been nearly four months.

I'll probably write another post about him, but for now, let's get on with the post of all posts, the dagger in my heart.

(Oh, also, I don't have the guts yet to post this myself, so just a quick shout out to my sister for being a rock star support. I love you.)

It never rains, it pours.


blog new beginnings pain

Monday, 1 October 2018

Knowing when to let go

I refrained from putting a question mark at the end of the title, in the hopes that I may become more confident in doing what the title suggests. As it turns out, I may be one of the worst candidates for "letting go". Or, more accurately, knowing when to do so. The how is a different, but equally important question, and journey. But, baby steps.

So, I'm going to go on the assumption that everyone has had to let go of something somewhere in their lives. Whether it's a grudge, a relationship, a promotion, a holiday, or an emotion, I assume that everyone has gotten to a stage where they realise that holding on is only making matters worse. Or where you realise that holding on is the root cause of a vast majority of your current misery. One aspect of this assumption also stems from the hope that, if you've experienced that sort of misery, that you have also experienced its opposite - a free, unbounded joy and mirth that makes you feel light and peaceful and completely content. Besides, we cannot see the light if there was no dark to distinguish it from, and vice versa.

So, if letting go can lead to such lightness, then why do we hold on in the first place? Is it fear? Of the unknown? Or of making the wrong decision? Or fear of losing what we have come to know so well, despite the misery? Can the grass really be greener on the other side of this clinging to what we know, to what we're comfortable with? Is it doubt?

Personally, I think that one knows when it's time to let go when you've been so preoccupied with something that you feel the urge to write a nonsensical blog about it. When you start to struggle to see anything else, despite knowing that there is so much more to life, that there are still so many roses to smell, or when you forget not to take it all for granted (Or, like me, forget to add the "not" into that phrase).

This all suggests that there is a place and time (or a reason) for holding on, and I can agree with that. As long as the learning and the growing and the appreciating is still happening, or still noticed, then hold on. Learn from it. Explore the misery. But don't go to a point where you struggle to see the light, the good.

Of course, the how can be done through yoga :) Whenever you realise that you (or your ego) have latched onto getting into a certain pose, despite your body, or your heart, or your mind screaming for you to stop, stop. Meditate, if that works for you. Or just listen. Be still, tune in, and listen to yourself. If you stop trying so hard now, it doesn't mean that you will lose all hope of getting into the pose some other time, but it isn't now. In fact, pushing for it at the wrong time is usually more likely to prevent you from ever reaching it.

Just saying.

K, so, I'm gonna go do some yoga now and try to let go a bit. And in letting go of balancing in a handstand, I will attempt to translate the lesson into other matters of my life. Wish me luck!

Sometimes you gotta just let loose a bit. Do
yoga in the snow. Lift a leg in downward dog.
Go crazy.
Thanks to Daven for the photo :)

blog mindfulness new beginnings yoga

Thursday, 8 February 2018

A new year, a new... me?

A very happy (and very much belated) new year to everyone! =)

In the build up to the start of the new year, I spent a lot of time reflecting back on the events of 2017. It was a pretty spectacular year. Spectacularly awful, as well as spectacularly awe-full. But through all the ups and downs, I do feel like a very, very different person starting 2018, compared to when I unsuspectingly, and happily entered into 2017.

But I've sort of found, perhaps, maybe, that the less prepared you feel for a lesson, the greater that lesson is? Or the more you grow during it? Or just the more completely it catches you off guard and knocks you down. But the only really bad thing about being knocked down is if you don't get back up again, isn't it?

So, like, in that sense it's very similar to standing balances in yoga (or arm balances, too, I guess; but let's stick with the slightly simpler analogy for now...). If you're frowning with intense concentration, I bet you you'd be more likely to not be able to keep a balance like Vrksasana. At the very least, you probably wouldn't be able to keep your balance for as long as if you were smiling merrily and allowing your body's natural balance mechanisms to do their thing *. I always encourage taking balances lightly, and taking oneself less seriously in balance poses. Yes, you need to engage muscles and focus, have proper drishti and so on. But more importantly, I think, is laughing at yourself when you fall over. And then getting back up and trying it again. After all, yoga is about the journey, not the destination.

So, without further rambling... go make 2018 the year for you. Your growth. Your discovery. Your love. Fall down, learn lessons, hard lessons, easy lessons. But get back up again. And keep smiling.

What the heck is going on with my shoulder??! And my hands are skew.
But either way, this is Vrksasana in a pretty tunnel


* No, I'm not saying that balance is all about your body taking over and you can just be blissfully unaware. You need to have your standing leg engaged. Engaging abdominals can help in some situations, too. I'm speaking more of the over concentration that takes over and makes your body rigid. 


There's much more to balance
Source

Also, check out this link for more on the muscles that are used in Vrksasana



anatomy blog classes mindfulness new beginnings teaching yoga

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

Insomnia


Last night, I just could not get to sleep. My new Fitbit (I needed a watch, and I needed a heart rate monitor, and then I also got a sleep analysis thing with it!! Yay for bonus things that I didn't even knew I needed (or wanted) until I got them!) says that I only got to sleep at 12:30. Which was really late, considering that I was in bed at 9:45 pm... Okay, typing it out now makes it seem like it wasn't actually that long... but it felt pretty awful.

Anyways. The really good thing that came of my stint with insomnia was a burst of work that I managed to do! It was agony lying in bed, trying to relax and fall asleep, so I got up, and went and sat on the couch instead. And I typed out a loooong email of to-do's: mainly things to change on the website, and exciting new things to advertise... 😁 The more I thought about it, the more weird and wonderful ideas came to mind! It was amazing!
Except.... now I can't remember any of them... 😨🙊

Kidding! I can! And I am sooo excited to be rolling out all my new ideas to the lovely people out there that need me in their lives (even if they don't know it yet 😉)

So, keep an eye on the Facebook page, and the glorious website, and be prepared to be blown away by all the awesomeness that my exhausted late night brain came up with!

Looking at things from a different perspective often helps. Like an exhausted brain. Apparently that helps. Though, I wouldn't recommend it... *






* This does also not include the unmentioned fact that I sent messages/ emails to two clients that I had to then rectify in the morning, because I hadn't thought them through properly... we live and we learn...
blog new new beginnings teacher training yoga studio

Friday, 29 September 2017

Time flies

It's been a very busy time for me and my little business. There's been some serious personal growth (which I may or may not go into more detail on in the near future), loads of little hiccups and 'technical difficulties', and even more new friends, connections, and places. The business side of things has seen more classes, lots of subbing (filling in for other teachers - getting with the lingo :-p), setting up and moving studios (yes, in that order, unfortunately), new and excited clients, and, most recently, the decision to go ahead with my first Yoga teacher training here in Johannesburg!!

I've run/ assisted on several teacher training courses at the stunning Hout Bay studio, the Wellness Connection, but that was with a massively supportive team of amazing people. This here is more like my own baby... The course is still being run through the same studio, and I do have their guidance and support (because they're just THAT amazing), but it's pretty much all in my hands. And I am SO excited.

Ever since I started assisting with TT courses (TT = teacher training. Lingo, man), I was hooked. I love teaching yoga, and getting people to connect with their bodies, experiment to see what their bodies can (and can't) do, and to start appreciating and loving their bodies more. But teaching people to pass that same thing on to others... it's pure magic. The most fulfilling part of my yoga journey so far. By far.

So, here's holding thumbs that it all works out! =) Eeeeeeeek!!


Me, trying to blend in with the Strelitzias. Is it working?!

Aaaand me practicing my Paint skills at 2am to advertise this fantastic TT course!


blog new beginnings teacher training teaching yoga studio

Thursday, 31 August 2017

Spring

It's been a ridiculous journey over the past few months to get to this point. Like a winter hibernation filled with procrastination, and planning, preparing, practicing, and playing. And now it's spring. And with it comes the blossoming and blooming of all the winter's efforts. Hopefully.

Yoga has this phenomenal ability to bring to light what's needed in your life. I've been struggling with standing balances in my practice lately, and lo and behold, when I did some introspection I found my focusses to be wholey unbalanced! So, with srping comes the end to my procrastination and planning, and a shift to doing. Putting into action all that has been cumulating over the past few months.

Enter The DAVINCI. This coming Saturday marks the start of an amazing adventure and partnership. Every time I have a meeting related to this venture I get silly-crazy excited about the prospects! A beautiful setting where I get to work with lots of people to bring yoga to their lives! And such an amazing team of people that I get to work with to make this all become a reality!

Then, starting on Monday, the opening of a collaborated studio in Northriding. I'll be working alongside my colleague and friend, as well as a fully fledged dance school to make yoga more accesible to parents of children attending dance classes (or anyone else in the vicinity who wants to join!), and hopefully, maybe, possibly, getting some of the dancer kiddies involved in yoga, too! How awesome?!

And then there's the launch of my spectacular new website!! =) Cannot contain the excitement!! Let spring BEGIN!!

blog new beginnings spring yoga yoga studio
 

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